I’d like to tell you about the first time I talked to my friend Diamond. We’d just moved into the Vicarage and the kids had started at the new school. I was on a new school gate.
The old one was where I met my friends, chatted and hung about till I was thrown out by teachers wanting to get on with the lessons. Here I just had to hang onto the kids for comfort.
The new school gate was the one where I didn’t know anyone, but some of them already knew me. Diamond came up to me on one of those first days and said:
You’re the Vicar’s Wife, aren’t you?
We went to see some strippers last night. But I was so drunk I fell asleep and missed it.
I wasn’t sure what she was expecting me to say, but I commented
Sounds like a bit of an expensive way to take a nap.
And then she wandered back to her ‘gang’.
She must have liked my response, cos now she’s my friend. But, boy, was that a scary way to begin.