I was pointed to a page of 20 Awesomely Untranslatable Words today. Some of them are excellent, but my eye was particularly caught by this one:
7. Tartle
Scottish – The act of hestitating while introducing someone because you’ve forgotten their name.
I must say that I often tartle, and so does the Vicar – a hazard of being somewhere where everyone knows who you are and you aren’t quite so up to speed. In a week when I’ve read a few blogposts about moving on to a new parish, I feel that it would be good to share anti-tartling tips.
How do you remember people’s names? Especially when you’re new somewhere?
There’s a word for that?! Hurrah!
It often happens when I go and join Dan who’s already talking to someone. We have an agreement now that if he doesn’t introduce me straight away, I know that he’s forgotten their name. That’s when I introduce myself, in the hope that they respond with “oh hi, I’m xxxxx, I know Dan from xxxxx”
Dan’s top tip is to ask for people’s email addresses, seeing as so many of us have our names as our email address.
I never tartle. I say, ‘I’m sorry I’ve completely forgotten your name.’ But mostly I do remember names. Not faces, though. I’m bad at faces.
You may have a form of prosopagnosia or face blindness…apparently about 1-2% of people have it…
Having learned the hard way, and having moved parishes a bit in the last few years, I now make it a policy, as soon as we arrive somewhere new, of announcing that I have a really bad memory and not to be offended if I ask what your name is six Sundays in a row and in fact, why don’t you start every conversation we have for the next six months by telling me your name – and I will let you know when I think I have learned it.
And of course, there is always making good friends with the one who seems to know EVERYONE, telling them they are going to be your resource person and then sidling up to them and saying, “What’s the name of that person standing near the door, the one I was talking to for about ten minutes just before I came over to see you!” most Sundays.
“Hi, are you visiting here this Sunday?” always ends badly.
Thanks for the link! Not sure what it’s got to do with tartling though (good word though it is).
Hi all. Glad you like the word.
One technique I used to use when we lived in South East Asia was to get people to tell me how they spelt their names. It was extremely hard to get used to names like Pik Yoon and Poh Wan when we first arrived. And I should use that technique more often here, where a good number of folk have unusual spellings of unusual names.
I do like Meredith’s tip of finding a right hand man or woman who can remind you. I think some folk I know also write people’s names down asap too, as the act of writing can help something go into the memory.
I’m shocking at remembering names, so a good friend suggested I try to work ways of using the name in to the conversation as often as possible, which sort of works.
I’m also not good at faces, which was bad news when we moved church, and I thought that Nicola was both Nicola and Anna.
Jesus took the authoritative approach of course, and simply gave Simon a new name when he couldn’t remember it.
And of course, there’s the rather pentecostal way of calling everyone ‘brother’ or ‘sister’. That worked well for us in Asia where people don’t tend to use each other’s given names as much, but prefer titles. So it was ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ for those our age and ‘auntie’ and ‘uncle’ for those who were senior.
Is it wrong to dob in my husband who used the camera on his mobile to take a photo as he was entering in their contact details?
Works, but oh-so-not-subtle.
We welcomed the new parish priest to our community last night and after the service there were 100s of introductions and I’m sure there was a fair bit of ‘tartling’ going on too (not sure how best to use the new found word!) The newly installed priest spelt out any unusual names and I wonder if that is his favoured technique for remembering all the new faces in the parish. Is there a word for that light bulb moment when you do remember the person’s name…or is it just a sigh of relief?!
I have assumed the ministry of asking the name of the forgotten person so that my wife, the priest, doesn’t have to tartle. It’s better that I appear scatterbrained than her.
That’s hilarious! I won’t be offended the next time the Vicar tartles when me sees me; I might even tell him my name again!
The more associations you make with a new name/word, the better you will remember it. (spelling, rhyming, puns, etc.). “Emma Black” could be remembered because she is particularly good looking (mmm) and has black hair. I just pay attention and take the trouble to make some kind of association, it helps. If I know a name but can’t recall it, I don’t try to force it. It’ll either come or not.
Still, that’s not a cure for me – I forgot my best friend’s name in high school. I finally learned the word “dysnomia” as my excuse – disability or dysfunction in recalling names. It’s the only word I consistently remember.
Just found this – wonderful ! Can I just confess that I’m an inveterate tartler, and have even done it when trying to introduce my wife ?!